My Gramps' Advice

My grandfather used to love telling the story of his boyhood friend Campbell. One day, they were at my great grandmother’s house and she had just baked a delicious chocolate cake. She asked my grandfather if he’d like a slice and he replied; “Yes please!” and she gave him one.

She then turned to Campbell and asked him the same question and he said; “I don’t mind”. She replied; “I don’t mind either” and left the room. No cake for Campbell.

Real or Imagined

Whether this story happened or not isn’t the point. My grandfather was trying to teach his 9 year old grandson to say please and thank-you and if I wanted something someone had offered me, it was okay to accept it.

How often do we do that to ourselves? We send out confusing messages to the universe and wonder why more confusion returns. My grandfather didn’t teach his grandson to take what wasn’t his or be an arrogant self-centered person, he was showing me how to discover what I wanted and be okay with wanting it.

Say What You Mean

Now take the Campbell story into your life, your work, your company, and see how often basic communication breaks down to the point of confusion. We humans try our best but often we don’t communicate very well with each other.

In our relationships, if we aren’t clear, how on earth can we expect others around us to have a clear sense of what we want, mean, or say? So the next time someone offers you a piece of cake, simply say yes please or no thank-you. It’s all you would expect if you were doing the offering.

Thanks Gramps.
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Enough is Enough

The annual strategic meetings are on. The big boss says profit margins need to widen. The new product line has to help increase market share. The southwest division has to pick it up on sales results. The list goes on.

The desire for infinite monetary growth permeates the room. No one is allowed to say this may be a flat year because of market shifts and customer demands. No one would suggest business comes with ebbs and flows as does life.

More of more!

In the developing world, it appears the need for prosperity and material possessions is a core belief and desire. Do we really need the four bedroom house on half an acre? Will granite counter tops bring us nirvana? Are 34 dress shirts enough? Can profits increase infinitely? Will we ever have enough?

We know buying stuff keeps the economy going and all of us employed. We need to ensure we can sustain our lives now and into retirement but the desire for something that we can’t even define is creating widespread unhappiness and uncertainty. Perhaps the bigger decision is to figure out who we want to spend our time with and what experiences we want.

More is rarely better.
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Make or Become Different

Change is a concept that seems to drive us, win elections, looks great on a t-shirt, and creates stress. We hear the word and feel two immediate and visceral responses: things will improve for us and everyone will need to change but us. Things need to change around here, but I'm fine!

We love the idea of it; the cozy non-committal nature of talking about it. It's as if the world was covered in magic dust and all is well. "They need to change." "We need to bring about change." "Change is gonna come." It all sounds so good, doesn't it?

Someday does not appear on the calendar

To most, change is about control and standing still while others make the shift. You may be one who thrives on change but be careful when you want to instill it on others. They too may like the theory but will define it to fit their own convenience. Who among us admits to be part of the problem?

We want things to change but often under our rules and our guidelines. And whenever you include anything or anyone outside of your own mind, the grip must be loosened or collaboration becomes a challenge.

Actual change verses talking about change is the key.
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Your Big Brain

It’s often said that we use a small percentage of the potential of our brain. There are things we can overcome, do, create, and accomplish, if we access additional information and abilities within it and ourselves. Teamwork, trust, and collaboration are becoming even more important in the workplace. Competencies are important, abilities are critical, but where companies find success is when the connections between us strengthen.

Tom Wujec is an information designer who explains in his TEDTalk three areas of our brain that help us understand words, images, feelings, and connections and how to better help us understand bigger ideas and possibilities.


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Solving Selling Struggling

Think about the last time you walked into a store and the clerk was on you from the second your foot crossed their front door. You probably quickly told them you were just looking because your personal space was crushed by someone trying to sell you something even though you were in their store.

Now imagine you're at a networking event and you meet John who shoves his card in your hand before you can say hello and starts telling you what he has to offer.

You feel yourself backing up and scanning the room for a few gulps of fresh air, a lifeline, a way out.  John's approach is a bit much so you recoil. You quickly realize the room is full of two types of people - sellers and those who are too scared to sell.

Beyond the Elevator

We need to know how best to explain what we stand for and how we help others. Even the painter does more than slap paint on a wall. She may enhance the feel of the office while it blends with the dark cherry desk and black leather chair.

So before walking in a room to sell your wares or greet new customers in your space, figure out how you can help them and the process may be smoother. This isn't an issue exclusive to service providers and small business owners.

Even big companies struggle with this stuff.
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Walk Away and Ask for Help

Have you ever felt yourself shut down and think no solution seemed plausible? There never seems to be enough time, money, resources, people, sunlight, matching socks, peace and quiet, food, good shows on TV, shelter, budget, gas in the tank. Though new socks every morning would be sweet!

At times, we put ourselves into a corner and begin to read the new reality as our only choice. "We have no budget for that" replaces "is this a good idea?"

Maybe it's time to replace no’s with some how’s. 
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