Learning Trust

We see the claims everywhere. On billboards, websites, annual reports, company material, political campaigns, and marketing collateral. Other words for it include; reliance, faith, belief, hope, confidence, or evidence that you are trustworthy.

Onora Sylvia O'Neill – Baroness O'Neill of Bengarve – is a philosopher and a crossbench member of the British House of Lords who outlines our three most common ideas about trust and how they may be misdirected.


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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

TED | Onora O’Neill

Reflections

We know the red element on the stove means it’s hot. We know to avoid that undefined object in the road for fear it will puncture a tire. We’re aware that dark alleys at 2am are not the wisest route.

But how important is it to look back and sift through the evidence, examine the results, and take to the present the lessons we learned so we can improve?

Warning Signs

Reflecting on what worked in the past and what may be possible now and in the future are gifts we can embrace in business, life, work, and relationships. Learning from the past is key. Celebrating what worked is important.

Learning from what may not have worked is equally critical. If we reach for the element on the stove not expecting to get burned, we haven't learn that lesson yet.

But life is usually not that simple.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

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Detached From the Outcome

You really want the job. You are qualified, the phone screen call went well, you nailed the first interview, and waiting for the results of the second. You can hardly sleep. You know it’s yours. And then the call comes in – they made another choice, they picked someone else, you didn't get the gig.

Sure you’re upset, but is your desire for the position any different now because you didn't get it? On the surface, you may begin to poke holes in the company, how dare they be so stupid, they made the wrong choice, and actually you didn't want that job anyway, you’re way better off without it.

Attached to the outcome

The reasons you applied in the first place suddenly shift because of their decision. But if you look harder and ask yourself one deep honest question, you may understand something important. Are the reasons you went for it still valid?

This is hard work. We want what we want when we want it, but as you and I know, sometimes it doesn't go our way. The job, the relationship, the car loan, the fill in the blank. We go for it yet don’t get it. Do we keep going for it elsewhere or give up?

I have been writing on this site since 2008 with no need to know who reads the content. It's not for any other reason than to share my thoughts and write. I'm detached from the outcome. It has created some incredible personal and professional relationships along the way but it's still not the reason I'm here.

Keep making goals and dreams

If we are authentic and honest about what we want, the outcome may still go our way. In fact, most of the time it will. But it's hard not to try and force the result.

It’s much tougher with people we care about but no one can be told how to feel or what to do without their permission. So being secure in how we feel is detached from their response. It’s clearly easier said than done.

Something to think about the next time we wonder if the results are tied to our goals.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

aspire

Never a Good Time

There’s never a good time to spill your dinner on your nice shirt. There’s never a good time to start that business. There’s never a good time to have another child. There’s never a good time to move. There's never a good time to act on that idea. There’s never a good time to make any decision in our lives.

We can use that as an excuse, a reason not to move forward, or face things head on. I can’t speak for you, but there are countless times in my life I haven’t had the bravery to make the call. And whatever happened was what I safely accepted as what was supposed to happen.

I was reviewing a post I wrote here on January 1st of this year. It was a simple list. It was a brave list. It was easy to write it because it was just a list. Ten months in, I wonder if the list meant anything.

• Complain less. Do more.
• Worry less. Inspire more.
• Look back less. Self-trust more.
• Compare less. Share more.
• Doubt less. Create more.
• Stop less. Listen more.
• Discuss going for it less.
• Actually go for it more.

There's never a good time to stop participating in our own lives.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

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Finding the Quiet

Here are some interesting facts about how we spend our lives from Distractify.

Twenty five years is for sleeping. We’ll work about 10-12 years in real time. This is discouraging, only 48 days having sex – keep in mind, it’s an average. We’ll watch about 9 years of television. Close to 3 years cooking, another year cleaning, and just over 4 years driving our cars.

We’ll drink 12,000 cups of coffee, 48 pounds of tea, and a measly 14 days kissing. Tack on another year of our lives deciding what to wear, 8 years shopping, 5 years sitting at a desk, and we’ll swear about 2 million times.

Life Gets in the Way

Interesting stats but if the average person in North America lives just over 78 years, it doesn’t leave us much time for reflection. But we’re far too busy for that. We have stuff to do, places to go.

When was the last time you gave your team a few minutes off, during the day, at work, to just clear their heads? Yes, quiet time at work. Life is an instant yet we take so little time for ourselves. You just spent about a minute reading this post.

Give yourself the next one for some quiet.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

openheart

What is Authentic?

The simple definition is something that is genuine; of undisputed origin. But we human types aren't simple. Or perhaps we make it complicated.

At an early age, we are told to set goals and focus on results as if life is simply a recurrent process of projects and tasks. It makes sense in the business world, I suppose, because we want a return on investment to show those who watch the outcome. And without revenue, business grinds to a halt.

In our fast-paced never satisfied reach for the next thing even if we haven't defined it world, is there room for authenticity? 

There are two sides to every connection; dad to son, co-worker to manager, supplier to customer. It takes both to create that authentic relationship. It's a heavy load to expect we can always find that in the interactions we have with each other.

Maybe there's far too much work to do, deadlines to meet, things to build, and products to ship, to find true authenticity. Perhaps we have to discover if we have the desire to find out if it’s possible.

I think it’s always worth the effort.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

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The Memes of Risk

Manage risk, financial risk, reputation risk, market share risk, relationship risk, shareholder risk, the risks of risks, the risk of focusing on risks, the discussion of risks, the endless what if's that stall our journey.

Perhaps we perceive it will be difficult or worse, not successful. We often fear our own abilities and guts to take that ride. One of the worst emotions I think we can possess is regret. The idea we didn't act on can often be the one that stops the flow. The safety of inaction becomes our comfort zone.

Risk often focuses on what will, would, or could go wrong. It's a preemptive strike, a proactive measure, to protect the outcome. The biggest risk is when we use it to endorse inaction. I know of what I write only too well. Maybe you can relate.

The biggest risk is the bet we fail to make on ourselves.
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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

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Changes

It may win an election. It looks good on a coffee mug. It gives us hope for better results. But what does change really mean to you and me? Some say we don’t mind change but we don’t want to be changed. It’s perhaps easier to point to large events in our lives as change but we are constantly changing.

Change is inevitable, the only constant is change, we’ve heard it our whole lives. But how often do we let external forces create the change rather than knowing we have more control than we allow?

Despite the effort of our conscious minds – thinking, hoping, fretting, and trying – our subconscious only measures our actions and pulls us back into our (often not so comfortable) comfort zone.

Some other thoughts on the topic.

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.
W. Edwards Deming

You can do anything you choose to do.
Maya Angelou

When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.
Victor Frankl

When in doubt, choose change.
Lily Leung

You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler.
Denis Waitley

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
Harrison Ford

How can you know what you're capable of if you don't embrace the unknown?
Esmeralda Santiago

When you are through changing, you are through.
Bruce Barton

The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.
Japanese Proverb

You have to speak your dream out loud.
Kelly Corrigan

Our only security is our ability to change.
John Lilly

The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it,
move with it, and join the dance.
Alan Watts

No heart has suffered when it goes in search of its dream.
Paulo Coelho

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.
Jim Rohn

If you are taking a risk, what you are really saying is,
I believe in tomorrow and I will be a part of it.
Linda Ellerbee

If you live the questions, life will move you into the answers.
Deepak Chopra

People underestimate their capacity for change.
There is never a right time to do a difficult thing.
John Porter

To exist is to change, to change is to mature,
To mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
Henri Bergson

When you're trying to motivate yourself, appreciate the fact you're even thinking about making a change. And as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough.
Alice Domar

I still don't know what I was waiting for and my time was running wild.
David Bowie

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Kneale Mann | People + Priority = Profit

david bowie | istock